I mentioned a few weeks back that I started watching Sex and The City episodes to fill in the gap until the new seasons of my favorite shows start again (Boardwalk Empire, Parenthood, Girls woo hoo! I got chills just thinking about it - yeah I said GIRLS!!). After I put the kiddos to bed, I need something to help me wind down, and feel like I'm "off the clock" at least for a little while.
Well this little adventure did the opposite - Sex and the City. It got me all wound up. Emotional. Angry. Sad. Flustered. Excited... I also upped my coffee intake during this time, which might account for the bouts of ANXIETY. But most of all deep feelings of nostalgia (and JEALOUSY) set in. I began to reminisce about the time in my life where MY LIFE was actually about ME. When I could make plans for brunch with the girls for Saturday and sleep in until it was time to get dressed. I could shower without a small person standing at the glass, clapping waiting for me to come out (applause, why thank you?). And put my make up on in the bathroom instead of the rear view mirror of the car.
Nowadays conversations are less about hot dates and more about play dates.. The cute guys I cant stop gushing over are wearing diapers and most of my recent purchases include a rather large receipt from Crewcuts.
I'm not complaining (very much), but I miss those times a bit. The SUSPENSE and the VANITY of it all. Sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming. Always being so consumed and responsible for someone other than myself. I should be used to it by now??
There is hope for the future.... but for now, Its not about me (apparently).
I have a few friends that I am quite thankful for (like this young lady). MY MOMTOURAGE I LIKE TO CALL THEM. They make this wondrous adventure a bit easier. Listening, Encouraging, and Humoring me along the way.
xx,
Bunnie
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LIFE AND TIMES: Bunnie Hilliard All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger
2 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. But what's funny is that when I do go out sans two in tow, I miss them. And often times I feel a bit guilty. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I'm getting a little better with this situation and now that they are older, I don't feel as guilty since they sort of have their own little social lives.. Tuh!
Same here! I always feel guilty. Good to hear that it possibly gets better!
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