May 16, 2012

got milk?

I just finished sobbing uncontrollably for about 10 minutes straight. As I mopped the floor, washed the dishes, sterilized the bottles. I kept crying, hysterically almost. And loudly.  I couldn’t stop. I just kept thinking about it. I cursed. Then I thought maybe I’m being punished by God. What did I do to deserve this punishment?  Why me? I put a towel on the floor (both times) to hide the evidence so I could move on as quickly as possible. But in t he back of my mind I keep thinking. That was TWO whole feedings worth of freshly pumped breast milk I spilled on the floor. I worked so hard to get that out. Sleep deprivation will do that to you. Make you spill things. Make you cry like you’ve been saving up tears for some special occasion. Just know that moving forward I now handle those little bottles as if they are top secret test tubes holding the cure for cancer. Now do I need medication for my obvious issues, or is there a consensus on the attachment and protection to this liquid gold? 
Probably a little of both..

I'd do anything for this little stinker...

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