Nov 5, 2013

REAL TALK TUESDAYS {ON BEING BRAVE}


On Being Brave.

I’ve been a little worried about this. The other day I watched my munchkin get into a tiff with one of her pals. They got into a screaming match and it ended with her crying. I came over and gave her a hug and asked why they were yelling. The other little girl had a little smirk on her face. My first thought was stop crying!!!  Don’t let that little stinker get the best of you!! We had a long talk on the way home about what she should have said, should have done. “Look them in they eye."  “Put your foot down.” And," if someone isn't being nice, just leave them standing there." "No one has the right to be mean to you!!"

None of these things she was very happy with. As a matter of fact, she said, Why don’t I just say, “can you please be a little nicer.” I was inwardly a little outraged. Let the mean girl win?

No way!

To be  honest, I’m a little stumped on how to teach my munchkin how to stand up for herself in a way that’s comfortable for her (and me). To be a combination of tough and sweet. H says that I have to start being tougher at home so that she develops a thicker skin.  But I'm supposed to be her refuge, when the world isnt being so nice... Mommy will always be there!!!?

I’m a bit of a sensitive soul myself so I know how it feels to express my anger, disappointment, happiness (and all other emotions) with tears. Its something I've  always dreaded about myself.  So I guess she got it honest. 

I’m reminded of the scene in You’ve Got Mail where Meg Ryan complains about what to do when being faced with a rude and insensitive person.  And being at a loss for words until the altercation was over (DONT YOU HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!). Where as Tom Hanks was the opposite. He was the one with all the zingers! That's what I want. ALL THE ZINGERS!!! and I'd like to pass them on to the munchkin so that she walks away from any situation feeling like the winner (taps fingers and cackles!)!!

But just like in the movie, if you are really a good person, talking down to someone doesn't make you feel good.

For my sweet, sensitive, adventurous girl.. I'll strive to encourage her to:

Know she is a good person.
Be strong from the inside out.
Be good to herself and to others.
And to know that she is AWESOME and AMAZING period.




So I continue to ask her about her thoughts and feelings in situations and encourage her to trust her instincts.. trust her gut.. trust herself.

I dont know that there are any magic words or remedies. But doing what's right and believing in yourself makes you BRAVE in my book.

What do you think?

I put this up as a little reminder as we walk out the door to face the good and the meanies everyday. 

xx,
Bunnie
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4 comments:

Mimi said...

I think I do a good job at teaching my children to always be nice to people but if someone steps out of line with them it is okay to politely get them together because if they don't they will always be the one that gets picked on. It only takes you to make an example of one so that other people don't mess with you.

I worried about that a ton with my son and over time he has found a good mix of kindness and being aggressive when he needs to. Then again I really think it is different when it comes to boys and girls. If boys don't stand up for themselves I think the consequences are a little different.

Vett Vandiver said...

such a great story, I think all parents worry :) and super cute pictures!

bunnie hilliard said...

Hi Vett! Not sure how I missed this comment:-( I'm still working on it over here. We are learning about being courageous and strong in the girl scouts so able to share lots of examples. as I've heard setting an example is the best example:-)

bunnie hilliard said...

totally agree mimi! we've both got a girl and a boy and the different techniques necessary for raising them to be confident and competent. trying to set an example I think its a good foundation. and then i told them if all else fail, bonk them in the head? no really.

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