Jul 7, 2014

REAL TALK: TEACHING GIRLS

love this scrunchy little face.

I hope you had an awesome Fourth of July weekend. I truly did. We had a few folks over and H went overboard with the fireworks. Little h was having NONE of it though. I ended up catching what I could of the spectacular show from Andie's window upstairs while he pulled the blanket over his little head. 

Fresh lemonade, Apple Pie care of Southern Sweets Bakery, we used Martha's recipe for a southern shrimp boil and it was SO GOOD. Bubbles, music, sack races the whole shebang. The kids had SO MUCH FUN. Speaking of which, maybe it was because I was so distracted with little h trying to get as far away from the cracking sounds of "poppers" or maybe it just went over my head at the time, but in hindsight I missed a real teaching/learning moment with Andie that I'd like to get down, so I don't forget or miss the opportunity again.

We were playing the game where you balance the (plastic) egg on the spoon and walk to the cone and back again. If you drop the egg, you have to start again from the beginning. She was SO excited, giggling the whole way. She dropped it after a few steps, and ran back to start again. She got all the way to the end and dropped it again. I could see her little heart break:-( She put her arm over her eyes and ran behind a tree. I ran after her to console her. All I could think about was that I didn't want her to be sad. I told her it was okay to be upset, and she didn't have to play the game if she didn't want too.

BOOOO mommy!!

NO QUITTERS!!

How I wish it would have played out:

Scenario 1
She walked blindfolded with one hand behind her back down to the cone and back with her egg still securely in place in less than 10 seconds and her friends carried her on their shoulders as the reigning egg race queen!!

For Real:
Andie: (Drops egg the second time) Mommy, I can't do this!! I don't want to play anymore.
Mommy: Its okay that you are upset. You CAN do it. Don't worry about beating everyone else. Its a fun game, lets try it again, just me and you.
Scene: Even though the kids have moved on to the next game - We keep trying together until she gets it. Smiles, tears and all.
End Scene:-)

Not sure it would have worked out that way. But the lesson I would have liked to teach:
Winning isn't everything. Its important to give it your best shot. Its okay if you don't come in first place. Its not okay to give up when you don't succeed on the first (or second) try.

As we all know these little people do not come with instructions. Feeding, clothing, Tucking them in at night (for the 10th time), that's the easy part. But building them up - courage, confidence, character -that's what we are really charged with. That's my prayer daily. For wisdom, for guidance, for grace.

xxB





4 comments:

FabulousLIVES said...

My favorite post thus far. I am a product of a parent allowing me to quit every whim...and a result is that I struggle to finish what I start and commit to things that are important to me. Goal setting was not required and practice... Hmm, what's that. You will have many opportunities I m sure to impart this on her. And be good to yourself. You're a great mom.

bunnie hilliard said...

thanks so much for your encouraging words fab. as you know, hindsight is 20/20. thankfully this on the job training we have signed up for gives us the opportunity to make adjustments along the way.

Jillian Wiggs said...

So too funny, just had to use the lesson. (Explaining later)
Now Bunnie I like this...so much that I called you Bunnie, so you're winning too! Lol. I especially like that you don't negate the importance of winning, but winning isn't everything. But not giving up IS everything. That's a lesson I must constantly employ. Even just when I tried to post my comment...I wasn't signed in, n I'm not a user...blah blah blah...it's all good not giving up! Try, try, and try again. BRILLIANT!

bunnie hilliard said...

Thanks SO MUCH JRuckus, that means A LOT coming from you:-) my oldest and dearest. It's a beast trying to teach these kids stuff you are still learning/trying to implement yourself?! Keep me near the cross:-)

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