MONDAY TIPS FOR MAMAS | ABOUT BIRTHDAY TRADITIONS

One of my most prized friends started a blog which is now my new favorite. She is a single mama who has raised three phenomenal young men - I'm sure it helped that she is pretty phenomenal herself. She was having a little chat about birthdays (on her birthday) which prompted me to journal some things I wanted to remember and share about the birthdays I remember growing up and the traditons I've started with my own little family.

It still mortifies amazes me that I get to take care of and grow and usher this little flock of mine. I am so very proud to be a wife and mother to this brood…

But before that I was (and am) my mamas child. And for as long as I can remember there was the Bell Family Happy Birthday song. Especially once we moved off and went to college and such. Before I could open my eyes and get out of bed tos start the day, scrambling to open my eyes and answer the phone - and then hearing everyone's voice on the line (mom, dad, sissy in med school, high school brother) raspy sleepy voices, singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!  And then a rendition of "For he's a jolly good fellow, which I never understood, but sing along and crack up laughing every time…

As tired as I was - I felt super special from the moment I opened my eyes that day.

We didn't have a big party for the munchkin for the first time (she turned six) this year. I figured I'd just do a little something at school with treats and balloons and favors for her classmates. I got a sitter for little h and came to her class and read one of her favorite books to her class...she wore a favorite dress and we had a special "fancy" dinner at her favorite restaurant.

We had an amazing day - celebrating all that she had accomplished and learned and how much she had grown this past year. I made sure to give her extra snuggles and tell her how very proud of the young lady she is becoming...

I wanted to take the time to jot down some of our birthday traditions so I wouldn't forget and hopefully to inspire you to create (or add to) some of your own. 

Morning surprise.

Ever since the munchkins first birthday I've snuck into her bedroom before dawn and filled it with balloons. She almost caught me last year so this time I strung a wall of steamers right outside her door - worked like a charm.

Favorite Breakfast (In Bed).

Chocolate chip waffles for this last birthday. Or warm bubbly oatmeal for h. If you are lucky enough to have your birthday fall on the weekend you get to have your breakfast served in bed.

Balloons/Streamers in the car.

If her birthday falls on a weekday, instead of filling her room with balloons I turned the car into "party bus"!

Sweet Treats.

This year we actually put candles in a chocolate glazed donut - her current favorite. For Lover I made a double chocolate cake (I'm still working off the pounds from helping him demolish that one)... 

Every year we still wake up to a birthday song (from grandma, granddaddy, auntie Michelle and Uncle Alvin, mommy and daddy - little h or big sissy).

What I realized over these years is it doesn't take a million bucks to make someone feel like a million bucks on their special day. You'll be surprised how far a pack of balloons, a roll of streamers and a batch of cupcakes will get you.

P.S. This year I filled the hubby's car with balloons while he was asleep. The look on his face when he got in for his drive to work was priceless..

P.S.S. Did I mention that my two year old wouldn't touch a piece of cake (or any other sweet treat) with a ten foot pole. Doesn't like anything sweet, except for my homemade oatmeal, which consequently tastes just like birthday cake??:-) but that's another story for another day…

What special traditions did you grow up having or do you have now? I'm nosy like that:-)

xxB
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...TACKLING AFTER SCHOOL ROUTINES AND HOMEWORK

I'm a bit of an overzealous mom, I'm not ashamed to say (well maybe a little ashamed) so I've been giving munchkin "homework" for a little while now. In my mind - to balance out the "screen time" guilt and make sure she was "in the know" and on track from a learning perspective. (I LOVE these Kumon and BrainQuest books).  But this year - 1st Grade is the first year she's had actual homework from school. So as we are getting into the routine of carpool and after school activities, I've found it helpful to get some organization around our new REAL homework.

Side thought: I am still a little new at this mama thing, still having a lot of firsts, so sometimes I have these surreal moments like, "Wow, I am REALLY somebodies mama and helping this little person with their homework?!! CRAZY?

But I digress. I wanted to share what we were doing around here as it relates to after school routines and homework in case it was helpful to you...

In an effort to stay sane and not run around like a crazy person when we get home, we try very hard to do something like this:

10 mins     Unpacking backpacks and waterbottles and such

We spend some time getting every thing out of the car. Otherwise it continues to look like I am planning on driving cross country and have packed all the necessary items. So out come the backpacks and sweaters and shoes and books and toys that seem to make their way into the car every day. 

20 mins     PBS Kids/Snack Time

I do like to make sure she has a little time to unwind from the day before we jump in to tackling homework if possible. It keeps the eye rolling (from both sides) to a minimum.

15-20 mins     Homework/Dinner Prep

The teachers are very organized with homework and thankfully munchkin is pretty well self directed. I read over the instructions with her to make sure she understands and then step in the kitchen to start preparing dinner, popping over to answer any questions she might have.

15 mins     Chores

For the six year old consists of putting away the silverware. Hopefully at some point in the day I have emptied the dishwasher.

15 mins     Violin Practice

Little h likes to sit next to his "sissy" with his toy Ukelele and practice. This cracks me up and gets on her nerves simultaneously. 

15 mins     Spend some time playing with little h 

In an attempt to foster a good relationship between those two who are 3.5 years apart, I try to force gently encourage them to hang out doing something they both like - reading, puzzles, sword fighting?

45 mins     Free Time

A couple times during the week we have after school activities in which case, "free time" is cut shorter. But this is the hang time before dinner.

Dinner

That little person in the back is watching Sesame Street, or Leap Frog Counting Circus, or something with letters and numbers (homework prep) don't judge me:-) 

Oh this little "homework" caddy makes things much easier at homework time too. Everything we need to do our homework in one space, so we aren't searching for glue and scissors and tape. I even stick these little Annies Homegrown Organic cookies as a little treat to make homework time a bit more enjoyable.

For us it helps to have a:

Designated space: A clean and clear dining room table works for us. I like to have her close so that I can get to her quickly with questions or help, and not too far away because she doesn't prefer to be off all alone.

Designated Time: Knowing what to expect when we get home helps to keep down on the frustration of ripping her away from playing and makes homework less of a dreaded activity.

Designated Tools: The 'Homework Caddy" is off limits for any other activities/crafts. That way its always stocked and ready to go.

Distractions for the little brother: A younger sibling can prove to have its share of distractions when trying to get homework done, So I try very hard to keep him occupied - we color when she's doing her homework, play the ukelele when she's doing violin and I try and have him "help" me in the kitchen when she's doing homework.

THIS IS SO EXHAUSTING.   So far its working out pretty good.

Any sanity saving tips you'd like to share are SO WELCOME HERE.

xxB

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REAL TALK: TEACHING GIRLS

love this scrunchy little face.

I hope you had an awesome Fourth of July weekend. I truly did. We had a few folks over and H went overboard with the fireworks. Little h was having NONE of it though. I ended up catching what I could of the spectacular show from Andie's window upstairs while he pulled the blanket over his little head. 

Fresh lemonade, Apple Pie care of Southern Sweets Bakery, we used Martha's recipe for a southern shrimp boil and it was SO GOOD. Bubbles, music, sack races the whole shebang. The kids had SO MUCH FUN. Speaking of which, maybe it was because I was so distracted with little h trying to get as far away from the cracking sounds of "poppers" or maybe it just went over my head at the time, but in hindsight I missed a real teaching/learning moment with Andie that I'd like to get down, so I don't forget or miss the opportunity again.

We were playing the game where you balance the (plastic) egg on the spoon and walk to the cone and back again. If you drop the egg, you have to start again from the beginning. She was SO excited, giggling the whole way. She dropped it after a few steps, and ran back to start again. She got all the way to the end and dropped it again. I could see her little heart break:-( She put her arm over her eyes and ran behind a tree. I ran after her to console her. All I could think about was that I didn't want her to be sad. I told her it was okay to be upset, and she didn't have to play the game if she didn't want too.

BOOOO mommy!!

NO QUITTERS!!

How I wish it would have played out:

Scenario 1
She walked blindfolded with one hand behind her back down to the cone and back with her egg still securely in place in less than 10 seconds and her friends carried her on their shoulders as the reigning egg race queen!!

For Real:
Andie: (Drops egg the second time) Mommy, I can't do this!! I don't want to play anymore.
Mommy: Its okay that you are upset. You CAN do it. Don't worry about beating everyone else. Its a fun game, lets try it again, just me and you.
Scene: Even though the kids have moved on to the next game - We keep trying together until she gets it. Smiles, tears and all.
End Scene:-)

Not sure it would have worked out that way. But the lesson I would have liked to teach:
Winning isn't everything. Its important to give it your best shot. Its okay if you don't come in first place. Its not okay to give up when you don't succeed on the first (or second) try.

As we all know these little people do not come with instructions. Feeding, clothing, Tucking them in at night (for the 10th time), that's the easy part. But building them up - courage, confidence, character -that's what we are really charged with. That's my prayer daily. For wisdom, for guidance, for grace.

xxB

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5 LESSONS FOR KINDERGARTEN

That dainty little squirt in the middle belongs to me

I cant believe summer is almost over. In less than a month we will be dropping that little person off for her first day of kindergarten. I'm just hoping I can force myself to leave the parking lot before school lets out... So well anyway, we had a play date with one of her future classmates today, so she (and I) would know someone when school starts. I think I was more nervous than she was. They hit it off perfectly! And I was super proud. I tried my hardest to stand back and let her do her thing. A little harder than I'd like. I found myself encouraging her (strongly) to make sure she picked out what SHE liked instead of what the other little girl picked out (among other unwanted interupptions). It got me to thinking about all of the things I'm a little anxious about everyday as she gets ready to embark upon this new phase...

THESE 5 THINGS BEFORE YOU START KINDERGARTEN 

Be Brave. I'm not quite sure how to teach this. I struggle with it myself. But without me even asking the other day, you told me that sometimes you get nervous.  And that you just think of things that make you happy (like playing with your brother or painting pictures) - and then you feel brave. (Taking a page from your book)

Be Yourself. I'm trying my hardest not to live too vicariously through you. Please dont listen to me when I say stop being so silly, or singing so loudly that I can't think. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Do YOUR (not someone else's) thing. You are AWESOME.

Brown is Beautiful. Now this. So many places I could take this. From a minority and a female perspective we are bombarded with so many images that are a supposed reflection of beauty. In hindsight, I probably would have held off on The Disney Princess debacle for a bit longer.. But I digress...  The bottom line is this. Know that your chocolate yumminess is THE BEST. From the inside out - you are beautiful - and smart and funny - and THAT is beautiful. God made everyone different so they would all be special to Him. He loves you very much and so do I.

Just Do Your Best. 
When I read the words... it just seems so mediocre. And of course I want any and everything but mediocrity for your little (for now) life. But I will make a deal with you. Try hard. Practice. And give it your best shot. You will be surprised how far it will take you.

And if someone doesnt want to play with you, tell them to KICK ROCKS! 

___________________________________

My prayer every day is that she is strong and confident and believes in herself as much as I believe in her.

What would you add to this list? 

xx,
Bunnie

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Sneaks

So, guest post on Bunnie and Co. What up?!

So I decided to talk about a few things that I am really into these days. Why not follow the wonderful post for The Perfect Ballet Flat with a little story on my obsession with sneaker releases!

So, I am a man of a certain age that should NOT...I repeat should NOT be online at 8am Saturday mornings hoping my web browser is faster than the kids in skinny jeans trying to get a pair of limited release Air Jordans. Guilty!

Look. It is mostly nostalgic; largely impractical; down right ridiculous. My justification is that I want them and I can actually afford them. Not like my college days when I was floating checks to nab the latest and greatest. Do you remember when you had like 3 days from the time you wrote the check to the time it cleared? I floated my fair share. Especially at Publix where you could write it for $40 over that week's groceries! or a pack of gum...

Bunnie is trying to convince me that Lil H is worthy of a pair or two but I think his See Kai Run joints are more age appropriate. He has plenty of time find his own midlife obsessions.

Mommy Chronicles {PTO}

In the garage this morning just as I was about to get in the car the munchkin exclaimed, "I have a headache, can you buckle me in." And I lost it!

My reply: "IM NOT FEELING WELL EITHER!!! WHOSE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MOMMY???!!!!!" Ooopsie.

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In my defense - I've been under the weather for about a week now. Is it me or do I talk about coughs (and poo) in every post? The winter months tend to wreak havoc on my house full of asthmatics... And we pass it around like we are running a relay.

So yes, being a stay at home mom has its perks. I love these little people like nobodies business and making them happy and healthy (and smart, and brave, and talented...) is my life's work. but I'm just saying.. Can I get a sick day?

One where I can get some tea and some noodles and stay in bed and watch movies (and blog) and all the magic still happens (i.e. everyone gets fed, and where they need to go, and the house does not look like the Tazmanian Devil dropped by)...

But I digress...

Back to my story.. So after I counted to 7 (nope I dont even get 10 seconds to myself).. And took a few deep breaths. I walked around to her side of the car. Clicked her seatbelt. And looked into her eyes and said (in my regular voice),"remember, mommy isn't feeling very well, so I'm going to need you to cut me some slack and help mommy today. I should not have yelled. That is not the way we talk to each other. I love you very much." Tears were dried (mine not hers) and we jammed to Beyonce .... Err French lessons on the way to preschool.

I hate it when I lose my temper with the kids.. But sometimes to say a few cuss' words you just need a minute.

How do you handle being under the weather and Magical Mom at the same time?

xx,
Bunnie